very few times in my life have i found people worth keeping in my repertoire. i think certain people come into your life at certain times to help you continue living, to shed light on you darkest parts, and to show you how to love (how to revive yourself after the great few and walk away from the dull ones). it is a joyless existence without love and companionship, one that i don’t think i’d be able to endure. i am terrified of abandoning my youth and going out into the world, the vulnerability will consume me. i don’t want to fade into a miserable existence, i refuse to.